Musings on Perceptions Vs. Realities: Regarding Aging

Age is defined by Webster’s Dictionary in many ways. Some examples: “the time a person has existed since birth”/ “expected life span”/“a stage of life”/ “the condition of being old”/ “to ripen or mature”, while ageism is defined as “discrimination against people on the basis of age; predjudicial sterotyping of older people.” There’s a lot of discussion in the news today, as to the competency of both older candidates running for President this year, with their shortcomings being attributed to their age. It is a highly politicalized issue with both parties accusing the other of running candidates too old, too addled, too confused to run our country. One candidate is 77, the incumbent is 81. Hard to believe it was forty years ago, (1984) when Ronald Reagan won a second term at a mere 73, yet was then the oldest President ever elected. (During a debate with his opponet, Walter Mondale, Reagan sucessfully ended the discussion of age in a humorous quip that many, including his opponet, believed sealed his re-election.) We’ve come a long way in advancing the time-line of “age” per se as a barrier. The Presidential contest is just one example of how many prominent people are still—or at least believe themselves— relevent despite their accumulated years. Another example is found in the entertainment industry—personalities well over 70 are still performing in concerts, appearing in movies and have a large following. Heck, many years ago, I eagerly attended a live performance of Sinatra when he surely was in his declining years but I loved every moment of it! In reality, he was no longer “at the top of his game” but the perceptions of the audience heard only perfect notes and overlooked the reality of missed notes and lapsed lyrics.

Living in a retirement community is a composite of “Youngsters” and “Oldsters” that predominately span the ages of 70’s to 90’s with a few younger retirees in the mix. Having begun my 87th year, I am well aware I qualify as one of the Oldies. In the early stages of my aging, when I actually had hair to manage and found some grey hairs, I went through many colors—from champagne beige (think Kim Novak), to other hues, finally giving up in my 70’s and going natural. My hair loss began when I was 80, due to side effects from an oral medication that I still must take, along with a genetic predisposition to hair loss, so I

eventually switched to wearing a wig that was a great match in color to what was left on my head....Perceived appearance vs reality!

I still consider myself as fairly active physically but the truth is, I walk at a greatly reduced speed compared to just a handful-of-years ago and nearly everything I do now, seems to take sooo much longer! The vigor and energy levels have waned and some days, I excel in doing absolutely nothing! Bit by bit, I am slowly deteriorating!..Not easy to reconcile that reality with the “younger” person I perceive I still am!

As for mental acuity, I was usually a quick learner. Then came the computer, internet, cell phone, streaming and WiFi. I did not embrace any of it initially but once I got used to the many things I could do with the technology, I became a convert and loved using it. (Disclaimer: having a son who works for Google made it much easier to learn and saved me tons of money by not having to call in The Geek Squad on a regular basis!) Today, I am even “all in” for a paperless society! However, the speed of newer systems, constant updates, increasing commercialism on the internet, and the emerging AI technology, are all starting to become a bit overwhelming. I suspect someday soon, I shall just give up as I won’t be able to assimilate the changes any more. My continued fear is a future where

no-one will be able to ascertain what is real and what is false....That will be the ultimate example of perception vs reality!

How one ages, physically and mentally, is a subject of endless tests, studies, debates, and controversies. Many components are involved —economics, genetics, environments, life-styles, disease, attitudes, diets, ability to adjust to changes—just for starters! And don’t forget the “outliers” who are the exceptions on both ends of the life span. It’s enough to make one dizzy and I no longer care to further explore the issue! One theory, was that those with a short stature tend to have a longer life span. If true, given my height, I may live to be 130!

So, let us “oldsters” indulge in our perceptions that we have lived “in the best of times” and continue to tell our stories of better days from the past! The future may prove us right!